I was at lunch today at Milestone's with my long-time friend Paul. Everything was going normal, I was enjoying my Eggs Benedict and we were basically talking about how glad we are the rain is washing away all the snow..
All of a sudden, Paul puts his fork down, wipes what appeared to be Mayo from the corner of his mouth, and it went something like this:
Paul: I was helping Jeff the other day in his garage. When he bent down to pick something up, I felt like grabbing the hammer on the counter and smashing it over his head. Do you ever get thoughts like this?
Me: umm.. (looking for the nearest exit and flashes of Jack Torrance in my head... all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy)....
Paul: Like yesterday at work, my co-worker was telling me about his new Ford truck, and I got an overwhelming urge to throw my book at him really hard in the head just to see what he'd do. Hey, don't tell Jeff what I said about the hammer, Okay?
Me: Umm, why would your co-worker buy a Ford?
Actually, I didn't question the Ford, I said: do you really think I would tell Jeff what you said? You want to smash a hammer into Jeff's skull for absolutely no reason. I can only imagine what you would do if you found out I betrayed you. By the way, I am moving to Guam tomorrow. (actually, I didn't say the part about Guam either)
Yesterday I was eating out at a new restaurant. I was enjoying a very savoury soup but then I found a pig's foot in my soup.